I was contacted recently by a parent hoping to get archery lessons for their 11-year-old son, who had apparently been practicing with a youth compound bow in their backyard, and they were hoping to get him professional instructions.
They had apparently already read my previous post titled:
Adults Only, Archery Lessons
And wanted to know if I would "make an exception".
My answer was automatically a no.
I am already turning down full grown adults for lessons, because of a number of factors.
#1. They are not interested in bowhunting.
I only want to teach people who are interested in bowhunting. So a 11-year-old who has never hunted before / has no interest in hunting, well, that is a definite no.
#2. They only want "1 or 2 lessons".
I charge a rate of $900 for 10 compound bow archery lessons. No less than that. I don't want to waste my time with people who "just want to try archery".
#3. Gut feeling / high standards.
Sometimes I just get a gut feeling that the person emailing me is not up to
my high standards. Something about the way they talk gives me the impression that they are not the type of student I am looking for. When I get emails from such a person, my usual response is to simply ignore their email and delete it. There is no point in wasting time even answering emails like that.
Thus if someone contacts me asking me for 1 lesson, or they are wishy-washy on the whole idea of lessons, or if something they said gives me a gut feeling that they are wasting my time - I don't even answer their emails. So the above parent trying to get lessons for their 11-year-old... no response from me.
#4. My schedule is already full.
This happens quite often. People contact me asking for lessons but my schedule of compound lessons for the year is already full. 2016 is currently full and people are currently booking ahead for 2017 and 2018.
If I am full up, then I am full. Not much I can do about that except to tell people to book ahead for the next season.
"Oh, but could you make an exception?"
What part of FULL do you not ****ing understand?
"Oh, but it is only one lesson..."
Now you see, I can hear the whine in their voice and this is just an imaginary conversation based on past experience of dealing with ****ing whiny idiots. I don't like whiners and complainers.
And now you understand why I don't answer emails from idiots like that. Just a complete waste of my time to end arguing with people who apparently don't have a ****ing clue that they are annoying me and there is no ****ing way I am ever teaching anyone who annoys me.
My goal in teaching is to be able to enjoy teaching it. That means finding
future bowhunters who I know I will get along with, and not a bunch of whiny, idiotic, clueless wussies who apparently cannot count to 10, cannot follow instructions, and have little or no interest in bowhunting.
Let me put it this way:
Have you ever tried to teach someone who doesn't follow instructions?
Then you know that that **** is ****ing infuriating.
So why should I be compelled to teach someone who cannot follow the simplest of instructions like:
No wussies / people who are not into bowhunting.
No people under the age of 18.
No people who want less than 10 lessons.
No people who are weak or infirm (although I am okay with teaching people who have mobility problems and I even give a discount to proverbial
Wheelchair Bowhunters).
4 rules. Follow them.
The bonus rule of no wasting my time asking for exceptions or asking stupid questions that only annoy me, well that just gets emails deleted faster than I can shoot a turkey.
Which brings me to the next topic:
HAPPY DEAD TURKEY WEEKEND!!!
Also known as Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving!
Here are a few tips for bowhunting turkeys.
#1. Use a ground blind.
You cannot properly hunt turkeys from a treestand. You want to get the right angle to shoot them in the neck, and that means being on the ground level.
An old school way of doing is to use the natural surroundings to protect you from the line of sight of the turkeys. Bushes, brush, ferns, natural foliage, boulders, an old cedar fence, anything that obstructs their sight.
The problem essentially is that turkeys are extremely skittish. They jolt at any movement or sound.
Below is a homemade ground blind. I would argue that this is superior.
#2. Don't worry about wearing camo clothing.
The problem with a lot of hunters these days is that they wear a lot of camouflage, but are apparently clueless. Turkeys don't care if you are wearing camouflage, they will see you anyway if you move. That is how skittish they are. So instead you need to obstruct their line of sight using a tree blind, or natural foliage like I mentioned above.
#3. Don't use idiotic gadgets.
Behold, a paper turkey "decoy". Now I mean just that. When you see an idiotic gadget and you look at it, and go "Hmm, that looks pretty idiotic." then your gut feeling is probably pretty accurate. Now that doesn't mean that a gadget won't sometimes work to your benefit (there is something called dumb luck after all), but most of the time idiotic gadgets are a complete waste of time and you should avoid such foolery like it is the plague.
To make matters worse, the moron is wearing grey camouflage with a green/brown background. So not only is he using camouflage when he should be using a ground blind instead, it is even the wrong colour for what he is trying to blend in with.
#4. Find a comfortable way to sit and wait.
Bring a sturdy chair. Something you can sit in for hours and be comfortable. Kneeling while waiting for hours (like the moron above) will cause your legs to grow numb and become very painful over time. You need to stay loose, relaxed and comfortable.
A good comfortable chair does not need to be portable like the one below, but it doesn't hurt to have one which is portable. It is more important that it is both sturdy and comfortable. Being portable is more like a bonus.
#5. Get properly large turkey broadheads.
There is no such thing as "the best broadhead". There is only broadheads that are well suited for the job of what you are trying to do. If you are shooting at small game, you need blunts. Deer, then you need a good solid broadhead that won't break (I have a growing hatred of mechanical broadheads that break easily), and for turkeys you need a big ****ing cleaver that will chop that head off at the neck in a hurry.
Like this one:
The above one is the Tom-Bomb Extreme 100 grain turkey broadhead with a chisel tip. The chisel tip doesn't matter so much, but it is a nice bonus if you manage to hit the neck dead centre.
When choosing a good turkey broadhead you want something that is large, not small, but also not ridiculously large either.
Also I recommend storing your turkey broadheads in the original packaging that you purchased them in. Keep the packaging instead of throwing it out, store your broadheads in them, and they will be well protected from potential damage. Far too often hunters use a variety of containers to store their broadheads, and the next thing you know they get damaged and are useless / unusable. Some people buy special containers for storing broadheads, but they don't commonly make those for turkey broadheads as they are so large and oddly shaped. Thus, the original packaging is a wise choice.
BONUS TIP
Use leftover bits of turkey to make you and the wife a large turkey salad. Just like chicken salad, but wild turkey meat is leaner. Keeps the wife happy because you just made dinner.
Happy wife, happy life.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
